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"Call me a thief,best missionary sex videos" croons Ansel Elgort, inviting us into his new EDM banger. "There's been a robbery."

The video from theFault In Our Stars actor is finally here after the disturbing cover art for "Thief" stole our hearts and ability to sleep at night in one swoop. Elgort says the work of art was inspired by American Psychoand theDrivesoundtrack, and yeah, that checks out!

Here are a few things we desperately need to know in order to find some peace of mind.

1. Has Ansel Elgort had sex?

It seems like he might be trying to tell us that he's totally done it. It could be what he means when he coons, "skin on my skin what a wonderful sin." But he paints with a subtle, masterful brush, so the mystery remains.

2. Can Ansel Elgort ever do more than one pushup?

3. Did Ansel Elgort raid the Kardashians' klosets?

I have definitely seen Kim wear all these outfits.

4. Does Ansel Elgort know that shadows are not caused by your feelings or lack thereof?

"I've been livin' in the darkness," sings Elgort. "Shadows in my apartment, heartless."

5. What is Ansel Elgort looking at?

It seems fascinating.

6. Did Ansel Elgort punch a ghost?

Is this a famous ghost from a YA novel or just a normal ghost?

7. Is Ansel Elgort in physical pain?

It definitely seems like Ansel Elgort is in physical pain.

8. Do I love this?

Yes, absolutely. In fact, it's the only thing I love. Lock me up with this video for the rest of my days.

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